Wednesday 22 April 2020

frames for Light.


Steps walked: 14578.
Furthest point travelled: 1.5 miles. North Middlesex Hospital Chapel.
Face to face non-household interactions: Four or five, I think.
Track of the day: ‘No Fun’ – The Sex Pistols.

              If you came with me now, I could take you to the exact place where it happened.
              I was walking home from offering prayers at the North Mid. It was warm: the sun was shining, the birds were singing, the sky was a perfect blue – and I realized just how angry I was feeling.
              Some of the angers I could name. Indeed, some of the angers I could put names to, and faces.
              Some of the angers were my fears, and the fear which at this time is the air we breathe.
              Some of the angers I could half-guess at the origins of, but didn’t really want to think about too deeply.
              Some of the angers, I realised, were sadnesses which had gone wrong, because I wasn’t really sure what to do with them, where to take them, how to face them.
              The birds kept singing across a London fallen not quite silent, and under a bright light sky I trudged home carrying all this anger. It didn’t help that my anger made me feel embarrassed, perhaps ashamed, in case somehow people could see it.

              And then I remembered the pilgrimage I wasn’t making; I remembered the miles between Lindisfarne and Iona that I wasn’t walking; I remembered why that journey at all.. and it made me feel better.
              The Celtic Christianity that’s so popular today is a lovely thing, truly lovely. It’s hand-woven, fairly-traded, and recyclable… endlessly so. It’s most definitely environmentally friendly. It’s kind, and caring, it understands. It’s like getting into a deep bath, after a hard day, with a not too challenging paperback and a glass of Prosecco. Am I overdoing it?
              Columba, the Irish Prince who founded an abbey on Iona and found sainthood there, ended up on that blessed island in the first place, because he was exiled from the Ireland of his birth. He was exiled from Ireland for what today we might call a war crime. He started a war that never needed to have been fought because he was angry. And the best bit of all? He was angry because he’d been caught making a crafty copy of someone else’s Bible. And I feel embarrassed?
              The blessings of those Celtic Saints were things of beauty, but you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of their admonitions. You know, they got angry too.
              But like Columba, Saint Columba, they took their anger, offered it to God, and made something beautiful out of it. I’ve been so busy pretending that I’m not angry, sad, frightened at all, that it’s all just a bit of a mess.

              We can see shadows just as dark places, or we can see them as frames for light.

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